doesn't know what to be

Dear Sook-Hee,

Do you remember me? I visited your blogspot and I saw my article. In my opinion, I can't feel fun in life because I don't have a dream. I often think, "what do I want to be? What will I do in future?" I thought for a long time but I haven't hand any useful answers. Friends my age have their dreams. I envy them. I am not pretty, tall, thin, smart or rich. Besides, my parents are divorced. Now I live with father. Mom married again. So I have it harder than another friends. Father often says, "in my opinion, your vocation is to be a teacher." But I don't want to be a teacher. Friends my age wants to be singers, teachers, actors... but not me. You've had lots of experiences. I think that you can give some good advice. Korea is not a country for individual liberty. So children do not have lots of variety in their experiences.
Please, help me! I await your reply.

Signed,
Black

********************************************

Dear Black,

Your English is very good- :) and I understand you well. Thank you for writing again.
You sound VERY much like me at your age. I thought I wanted to be a veterinarian but then when I went to college, I was not sure anymore.

My father said, "You will be a doctor or a lawyer" and I never disagreed. But I wasn't sure. Now that I am older, I realize that many parents want you to have a certain career because they want you to be happy and perhaps it's the job *they* wanted, but did not get.

I listened to my father out of respect because he was my dad and he took care of me. Once you are on your own (meaning your family no longer supports you) then it is up to you to decide what you might like to do.

I think Korea is an amazing country full of respect for one's elders. Honoring your parents and their wishes is a good thing, especially while you are under their roof. But as the country grows with western thinking, more people will have their own individual opinions and ideas of what they want to do with their lives and this is okay as well.

When you are given a harder life early on, it means you are destined for great things. When life is difficult it helps you become stronger. There is a proverb that says, "without vision the people perish," meaning, without having a dream to look forward to, it's hard to go through life.

It's also difficult because there are a lot of demands with school and a lot of changes in your home as well as the physical changes you are going through now. It's very tough being a teenager in Korea; I can see that.

One of the things I suggest you do is to try to find a quiet place somewhere where you can meditate a few minutes each day to "picture" yourself later on. What do you see yourself doing in this picture? Where do you live? Who/what is around you? If you could do one thing all day long and never be tired of it, what would it be? These are just some ideas of ways to start getting your heart to explore what you would like to do.

I hope this letter helps. Write back soon :)

Your friend,
Sook-Hee

lacks trust

Dear Sook-Hee,

I have a problem. I don't believe anyone. Idon't believe my friends so I don't tell anyone my secrets. WHat should I do?

Signed,
Lemon Tree


************************************************

Dear Lemon Tree,

Not trusting people, especially your friends, is a hard problem. Did one of your friends let you down and ruin your trust? Once trust is broken, it is like a broken jar- you can glue the pieces back together, but it's never the same. Perhaps you need to learn who to trust and when. When I was about 12, I told a friend a secret that I liked this boy and she told him and the whole class. Everyone teased me and I was incredibly embarrassed. After that, it was hard for me to trust my friends for a long time. Choose your friends wisely and if you have a secret and you need to tell someone, make sure that person cares for you and that they *know* it is a secret and they should not tell.

Your friend,
Sook-Hee

painful love

Dear Sook-Hee,

Hi. A year ago, I liked a boy. He is handsome but I'm not pretty. So I thought I should give up. However, my heart is really sore and last night I cried. Sook-hee, please give me good advice!

Signed,
Painful Love

******************************

Dear Painful,

Why do you like this boy? Is it only because he is handsome? If that is the only reason, then even if he was to become your boyfriend, perhaps you would become bored quickly. Is he nice? intelligent? Think of all the good qualities he may have and now look at your good qualities. Many people look at someone else's looks initially and not what's on the inside. Though you think you are not pretty, you do not know how other people see you. Boys love girls who smile and are relaxed with themselves. A beautiful smile makes every person lovely. Be friendly when you see him and make him feel special. Boys at this age are very insecure and a kind word from any girl goes a long way. Don't give up :)

Your friend,
Sook-Hee

exam worrier

Dear Sook Hee,

Hi, my name is Green and I am worried about my exam. What should I do?

Signed,
Green

*****************************************


Dear Green,

Worrying is always a waste of energy and never helps. Try doing the best you can and realize that even though getting a good grade is SO important now, in a few years, what will be more important will be your health and happiness.

your friend,
Sook-Hee

teacher or actor?

Dear Sook-Hee,

I want to be an actor or a children's school teacher. I don't know which one to choose. What should I do?

Signed,
Sunny

*****************************************
Dear Sunny,

Well, there's no reason why you can't be both at the same time! It is obvious that you like children, but you may very well be a gifted actor as well. There are many children television programs that teach while entertaining. I grew up on educational T.V. shows like "Sesame Street," "School House Rock," "Mister Rogers Neighborhood" and "The Muppet Show." Since school is very hard, why not make learning for children fun? You could be the one to do that.

To begin, start watching T.V. programs that teach children. Look online for acting classes and auditions for plays and little parts in movies. I know this may be difficult in a small town, but there are more opportunites in Busan or Seoul. Good luck! I look forward to seeing you on T.V.

your friend,
Sook-Hee

so tired

Dear Sook-Hee

Hello, my name is Cookie. My problem is studying. Studying is very difficult. How do I do it? I am SO tired. Help me!

Signed,
Cookie

*****************************************

Dear Cookie,

When I was your age I was tired ALL the time. I thought there was something wrong with me! Now I know that when you are a teenager, your body is doing a lot of growing and going through chemical changes that leave you feeling quite fatigued. Did you know that research has found that teenagers need 9-10 hours of sleep? Do you know *anyone* in Korea that gets that much sleep? (I haven't met anyone yet.) Studying is very difficult, especially if you are only getting 7 or 8 hours of sleep.

Try to go to sleep earlier and study at the times that you are most alert. Exercise gives a person more energy and a greater ability to focus. Are you getting enough exercise? Also, try to drink more water. Have you ever seen a plant that looks wilted and "tired"? A big glass of water can help.

Try to study in a quiet place that is enjoyable. Shut off the T.V., computer, radio or anything that might disturb you. Make yourself a yummy snack and sit at a desk or table with a comfortable chair. Are certain subjects easier or harder? Do the harder tasks first and take a tea or water break and stretch every fifteen minutes or so. Reward yourself when you have finished your homework. Good luck! Sugo hasayo!

Your friend,
Sook-Hee

feeling fat

Dear Sook-Hee,

I want to go on a diet, but I can't because I'm lazy. So I am very fat. What should I do?

Signed,
Rebecca

*****************************************

chewy puppy

Dear Sook-Hee,

I have a dog. He is very cute, but he bites my hands and chews on my hair. My father said, "I don't like him," because of this but I really like him and I want to keep him. What should I do?

Signed,
Ong

*****************************************

Dear Ong,

I can really understand your situation. I had a puppy that chewed my pillows, my chairs, my shoes, my ankles and everything she could get her little teeth on! But that's just it; she was a puppy and puppies need to chew to develop their teeth. Your dog loves you and is just playing with you; he is not trying to hurt you. Encourage him to chew on rawhide dog bones you can buy at the store. For 1,000 won you can buy a little bag of dog chews and it keeps him healthy and your dad happy. If your dog starts chewing on you, gently but firmly say, "No!" and give him the bone to chew on instead. It may take a week or so and some patience, but you and your dog should be fine.

your friend,
Sook-Hee

prefers playing

Dear Sook-Hee,

I can't study well. I like playing more. What should I do?

Signed,
Min Young Lee

*****************************************

wants to live with her aunt

Dear Sook-Hee,

My name is Dong-ha. My problem is at home. I want to live with my aunt at her house. I don't want to live at my grandmother's house. But I had to leave my aunt's house and now I'm very, very, very sad. I feel like I want to die.

Signed,
Dong-ha

*****************************************

Dear Dong-ha,

First of all, I am very sorry you are so sad. Life can be really hard sometimes and very unfair. As far as not wanting to live at your grandmother's house, have you privately told this to your aunt? Does she support you in your decision? Does your aunt have a lot of children and it is easier for your grandmother to take care of you? Or do you help take care of your grandmother? I could give you several words of advice, but I don't know the situation very well. What I encourage you to do, is talk to your aunt and explain your feelings. If it is not possible to live with her (your aunt), try to make a list of why you are unhappy living with your grandmother and try to think of positive ways to make that house a happy home. Please know that trials are sometimes put into our lives to make us stronger people. The sun will come out soon. Please write me again and let me know how you are doing.

Your friend,
Sook-Hee

life's no fun

Dear Sook-Hee,

Hi. I have a problem. It's that I don't feel any fun in my life. So, when I rest, I really don't know what to do. What should I do?

Signed,
Black

*****************************************

studies too hard

Dear Sook-Hee,

Studying in second grade is very, very, very hard. I want to do well on my exam, but I don't know how to study.

Signed,
Bool Sa Jo

*****************************************