doesn't know what to be

Dear Sook-Hee,

Do you remember me? I visited your blogspot and I saw my article. In my opinion, I can't feel fun in life because I don't have a dream. I often think, "what do I want to be? What will I do in future?" I thought for a long time but I haven't hand any useful answers. Friends my age have their dreams. I envy them. I am not pretty, tall, thin, smart or rich. Besides, my parents are divorced. Now I live with father. Mom married again. So I have it harder than another friends. Father often says, "in my opinion, your vocation is to be a teacher." But I don't want to be a teacher. Friends my age wants to be singers, teachers, actors... but not me. You've had lots of experiences. I think that you can give some good advice. Korea is not a country for individual liberty. So children do not have lots of variety in their experiences.
Please, help me! I await your reply.

Signed,
Black

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Dear Black,

Your English is very good- :) and I understand you well. Thank you for writing again.
You sound VERY much like me at your age. I thought I wanted to be a veterinarian but then when I went to college, I was not sure anymore.

My father said, "You will be a doctor or a lawyer" and I never disagreed. But I wasn't sure. Now that I am older, I realize that many parents want you to have a certain career because they want you to be happy and perhaps it's the job *they* wanted, but did not get.

I listened to my father out of respect because he was my dad and he took care of me. Once you are on your own (meaning your family no longer supports you) then it is up to you to decide what you might like to do.

I think Korea is an amazing country full of respect for one's elders. Honoring your parents and their wishes is a good thing, especially while you are under their roof. But as the country grows with western thinking, more people will have their own individual opinions and ideas of what they want to do with their lives and this is okay as well.

When you are given a harder life early on, it means you are destined for great things. When life is difficult it helps you become stronger. There is a proverb that says, "without vision the people perish," meaning, without having a dream to look forward to, it's hard to go through life.

It's also difficult because there are a lot of demands with school and a lot of changes in your home as well as the physical changes you are going through now. It's very tough being a teenager in Korea; I can see that.

One of the things I suggest you do is to try to find a quiet place somewhere where you can meditate a few minutes each day to "picture" yourself later on. What do you see yourself doing in this picture? Where do you live? Who/what is around you? If you could do one thing all day long and never be tired of it, what would it be? These are just some ideas of ways to start getting your heart to explore what you would like to do.

I hope this letter helps. Write back soon :)

Your friend,
Sook-Hee

lacks trust

Dear Sook-Hee,

I have a problem. I don't believe anyone. Idon't believe my friends so I don't tell anyone my secrets. WHat should I do?

Signed,
Lemon Tree


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Dear Lemon Tree,

Not trusting people, especially your friends, is a hard problem. Did one of your friends let you down and ruin your trust? Once trust is broken, it is like a broken jar- you can glue the pieces back together, but it's never the same. Perhaps you need to learn who to trust and when. When I was about 12, I told a friend a secret that I liked this boy and she told him and the whole class. Everyone teased me and I was incredibly embarrassed. After that, it was hard for me to trust my friends for a long time. Choose your friends wisely and if you have a secret and you need to tell someone, make sure that person cares for you and that they *know* it is a secret and they should not tell.

Your friend,
Sook-Hee

painful love

Dear Sook-Hee,

Hi. A year ago, I liked a boy. He is handsome but I'm not pretty. So I thought I should give up. However, my heart is really sore and last night I cried. Sook-hee, please give me good advice!

Signed,
Painful Love

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Dear Painful,

Why do you like this boy? Is it only because he is handsome? If that is the only reason, then even if he was to become your boyfriend, perhaps you would become bored quickly. Is he nice? intelligent? Think of all the good qualities he may have and now look at your good qualities. Many people look at someone else's looks initially and not what's on the inside. Though you think you are not pretty, you do not know how other people see you. Boys love girls who smile and are relaxed with themselves. A beautiful smile makes every person lovely. Be friendly when you see him and make him feel special. Boys at this age are very insecure and a kind word from any girl goes a long way. Don't give up :)

Your friend,
Sook-Hee

exam worrier

Dear Sook Hee,

Hi, my name is Green and I am worried about my exam. What should I do?

Signed,
Green

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Dear Green,

Worrying is always a waste of energy and never helps. Try doing the best you can and realize that even though getting a good grade is SO important now, in a few years, what will be more important will be your health and happiness.

your friend,
Sook-Hee